2 Fast 2 Furious — Retrospective Review

(In preparation for the release of Fast Five, I'm going to be rewatching and reviewing the two movies in the franchise that are on Netflix Watch Instantly, The Fast and the Furious and 2 Fast 2 Furious. Since these are the entries I remember next to nothing about, this works out perfectly.)

In contrast to The Fast and the Furious, it turns out that 2 Fast 2 Furious is actually better than I remembered it. Which isn't to say it even approaches goodness, but to my shock the two movies are actually pretty even, quality-wise — the first one was a bad movie I remembered as mediocre, this one is a bad movie I remembered as an abomination. How time distorts things.

I don't doubt that my sour impression at the time was in part a reaction to Vin Diesel's absence. Which is a bummer, don't get me wrong, but it's a much easier pill to swallow knowing that he would return for a cameo in Tokyo Drift and then again as a lead in the next two (or more) movies after that. It's funny that despite Paul Walker's Brian O'Conner technically being the first film's protagonist, this one still ends up feeling like a spin-off rather than a proper sequel simply due to the lack of Dominic Toretto, the franchise's iconic central figure.

The filmmakers attempt to fill the Diesel-sized hole with Tyrese Gibson as a new partner for Brian O'Conner (with Eva Mendes, Ludacris, and Devon Aoki standing in for the absent supporting cast of Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, and Matt Schulze), but although Tyrese is likable enough as the brash and impulsive but ultimately goodhearted ex-criminal Roman Pearce and has decent chemistry with Walker, it's just not the same. Diesel is singular.

On the plot level, it's kind of doing the same damn thing as the last movie. Brian O'Conner is now an ex-cop, fired after the events of the first film, but that's only relevant for the first fifteen or so minutes (just long enough for him to get into a race through the curiously empty streets of nighttime Miami). Soon the cops bring him back in and send him undercover as a driver once again to infiltrate yet another criminal's crew and get to the heart of his illegal activities (with Tyrese's Roman Pearce joining in the undercover gig). The difference is that this time, rather than a lovable lughead and secondary hero, the sting target is the slimy, rich, vile and murderous Carter Verone, the movie's villain.

In this respect the film trumps the original. I mean, Carter Verone is just your typical cheeseball 80s action bad guy twenty years late to the party, but compared to the original film's Johnny Tran he may as well be Darth Vader. He actually has meaningful screentime and interactions with the protagonists and character traits. In one scene he tortures a guy by pinning a rat to the guy's stomach with a metal bucket then heating the bucket with a blowtorch so the rat has to chew through him to escape. That's some hardcore nasty shit!

The film is also better-paced than the original. If you'll recall, I griped that The Fast and the Furious goes out with a sad little whimper in its climactic action scene, a chase between two cars and two motorcycles. 2 Fast 2 Furious, on the other hand, comes to an appropriately big and noisy culmination in a scene with fifty-someodd cars leading cops on a chase and then Paul Walker and Tyrese jumping their car off a ramp onto a moving boat. I'm not saying any of this is great filmmaking by any stretch, but at least it isn't anticlimactic.

But the movie is much blander than the original in terms of personality and setting. While I may find drag races in quarter mile straight lines to be insanely boring, the first film still had a somewhat unique and entertaining flavor as a look into that culture and the competitiveness and family and sheer love of cars surrounding it. This one recaptures that just a little in its opening race sequence, but as soon as O'Conner and his new partner Roman take back up with the cops it just turns into a pretty straight Miami Vice riff, right down to the rich drug lord bad guy. There's that spin-off vibe again: lose Dominic and substantially up the cop movie feel and suddenly the spirit is missing.

The movie also suffers from overbadass syndrome. Of course, this franchise revolves around impossibly tough, impossibly cool, impossibly talented drivers, so some badassery is expected and required. But the first movie at least had Brian lose his initial race, one of Dom's crew get killed off, the botched truck heist sequence, and so on. All the rest of the movies have a mix of lost races, dead allies, and setbacks for our heroes. But in this one, Brian and Roman are basically having a great time infiltrating and bringing down Verone's operation, succeeding at every single task, suffering no loses or setbacks, and effortlessly overcoming every obstacle set in their way with grins on their faces.

In one early sequence where Verone has tryouts for his precision driving crew, Brian and Roman are not only miles ahead, but so confident in their victory that they're laughing and trying to one-up each other with fancy driving stunts along the way, such as Brian spinning around and tooling down the freeway in reverse. And there's no twist or anything either — they're just that much better than every other driver, and they win by miles, period. The movie pretty well maintains that tension-free tone for its entirety.

It's because of that flavorlessness and smugness, even more so than Toretto's absence, that 2 Fast 2 Furious is still the franchise's worst film, and not something I could recommend to anyone with a straight face unless they're marathoning the series as I am. But I'm man enough to admit that I had condemned it just a little too harshly over these last eight years. Having recently suffered through the likes of The Mechanic, I'm familiar with just how much worse an action movie can be. Reap the benefits of lowered standards, 2 Fast 2 Furious.


2 Stars out of 5

The Fast and the Furious — Retrospective Review

(In preparation for the release of Fast Five, I'm going to be rewatching and reviewing the two movies in the franchise that are on Netflix Watch Instantly, The Fast and the Furious and 2 Fast 2 Furious. Since these are the entries I remember next to nothing about, this works out perfectly.)

The Fast and the Furious is actually, in many respects, a worse film than I remember, or at least a dumber one. Having just rewatched it for the first time since its theatrical release ten years ago, I'm struck anew by both how structureless and awkwardly-paced it is and how the act of racing cars in quarter mile straight lines may in fact be the most boring "sport" on the planet. Now I feel almost obligated to rewatch 2009's Fast & Furious and see if my recollection of it being a little worse than the original is accurate. I mean, it's obvious that neither is as good as the awesome The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, but Tokyo Drift and Fast & Furious share director Justin Lin, who in Better Luck Tomorrow and the first season of Community proved his brilliance. This first installment is from Rob Cohen, who since 2001 has directed xXx, Stealth, and The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, proving that he wouldn't know a good movie if it came up and shat on his face.

The most concise way to describe The Fast and the Furious is that it's bro as hell. Full of laughable macho posturing, an aggressively unyielding hip hop soundtrack, "yo check this out" and "aw hell yeah man" dialogue, and of course lovingly-photographed muscle cars as far as the eye can see. It's the sort of movie where, upon Vin Diesel and Paul Walker pulling up beside a ferrari at a stoplight, the ferrari driver starts insulting them, Diesel turns to Walker and says "smoke him," and they engage in an impromptu hip hop-scored drag race for absolutely no reason whatsoever. The closest thing to an emotional beat is Diesel monologuing about how he confronted the driver who killed his father in a racing accident and nearly beat him to death with a wrench (a monologue which contains the immortal and hilarious line "I live my life a quarter mile at a time," the one part of the film I remembered clearly ten years later).

For those who don't know or don't remember, the plot is basically Leonardo DiCaprio's half of The Departed, except set in the Los Angeles street racing scene and with the equivalent of Jack Nicholson's character being guilty not of mass murder but of being a comical tough guy stereotype. Paul Walker plays Brian O'Conner, an LAPD cop going undercover as a gearhead street racer in order to infiltrate Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel)'s crew and find out who in the underground street racing scene has been hijacking trucks and stealing electronics. Brian also inadvertently falls for Dom's sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) and clashes with Dom's right hand man Vince (Matt Schulze). There's some other characters in the crew, who, while being just differentiated enough not to be interchangeable, are fairly irrelevant.

There's an antagonist too, an Asian gangster / street racer named Johnny Tran (Rick Yune, more familiar to me as Zao from Die Another Day), but to call him a one-dimensional villain is an insult to one-dimensional villains. He has about ten minutes of screentime and no real traits except being tough and smug and a good driver. He kills one guy, blows up Paul Walker's car, and tortures a mechanic into giving him parts by pouring gasoline down his throat, but by action movie standards Johnny Tran is about as intimidating as a relatively large and angry moth, failing to really even serve an antagonist's defined purpose of driving the action until the final ten minutes or so.

Which brings us to the movie's strange pacing. The first two acts are mostly fine, consisting of Brian integrating himself into Dom's crew and occasionally checking in with the cops, mixing in a car-centric action scene here and there (although the movie plays its cards too quickly, having Dom and Vince come to suspect Brian is a cop only about 45 minutes in and then awkwardly sweeping that large narrative dust bunny under the rug until the climax). But everything seems to be building towards the horrifically-named "Race Wars" — don't worry, you haven't stumbled into an American History X review, it's just a drag race tournament — which we then see less than five minutes of, without Brian or Dom participating in a single race.

The film accelerates from that point into a fairly impressive truck heist sequence which could have served as a final action set piece if only it were narratively climactic. But it doesn't really resolve anything, and the movie's actual climax, barring a final racing rematch between Brian and Dom (which I count more as part of the denouement), is a rather boring and lazy chase scene with two guys in cars pursuing two guys on motorcycles. It's a scene that wouldn't have impressed anywhere in the movie, but especially not at the end when you're hoping the the story will go out with a spectacular bang. Instead, it runs out of gas.

All the performances, including Michelle Rodriguez, pulsate with fratty energy. I'd always thought of Paul Walker as the prototypical bland, vanilla movie star, but time had washed away the memory of how genuinely awful he is in this film. His attempts at looking and sounding tough elicit sputtering laughter, his amateurish line readings often coming across like they forgot to tell him that this was an actual take and not rehearsal. Matt Schulze is way more entertaining as Dom's lieutenant and Brian's rival; he too feels a couple years removed from the frat house, but a rougher frat house where he at least got in a brawl or two.

I'd also forgotten how young Jordana Brewster is in this first film. Well, maybe "forgotten" isn't the right word — she was a few years older than me when I first saw The Fast and the Furious during the summer between freshman and sophomore year of high school, so it probably didn't occur to me back then. But my memories had mentally replaced her with the contemporary Jordana Brewster of Chuck and Fast & Furious, so it was startling to rewatch and see that she's basically a girl in it, younger than the vast majority of actors and actresses who play high school students. On the performance level, she's fine. Cute enough, unremarkable. Better than Paul Walker, anyway.

But it's Vin Diesel who walks away with the thing. I'd spent these last ten years thinking of him as the main character and was a little surprised to go back and see that Brian O'Conner is clearly the protagonist, with way more screentime. But Diesel's screen presence overwhelms Walker completely. Vin Diesel, like Arnold before him, really encapsulates the difference between an actor and a movie star. However flat his line readings, however much his depiction of emotion looks like he's trying to take a dump, there's just something inherently magnetic and watchable about him. He couldn't come anywhere close to saving Babylon A.D., the sixth worst movie of the last ten years, but he does come close to saving this one.

The other sincere compliment I can give The Fast and the Furious is one that's only become more relevant since 2001: the near-complete lack of CGI. Now, having seen Rob Cohen's The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, I can tell you that this was a decision born of financial limitations, not artistic integrity, but in this case the former begat the latter. Here are real stunts, real stunt drivers, real cars getting smashed and flipped and blown up, and you can see it; you can instantly tell the difference. This is by no means the best action movie of recent years this applies to (part of Casino Royale's greatness is that the crane chase, car crash, Vienna building collapse and so on are done sans computer graphics), but it's something I really appreciated.

Doesn't make it a good movie, though.


2 Stars out of 5

NBC Sitcom Roundup for 4/21/11

The Office, Season 7 Episode 21 — "Michael's Last Dundies"

Sadly, I have to take back the nice things I said about Deangelo Vickers after last week's "Training Day." Not that I think Will Ferrell himself is screwing up what's given to him, but it unfortunately seems that the writers have no interest in or intention of giving Deangelo any kind of consistent, coherent personality or dynamic with the rest of the office. The Southwest-loving straight man with an antipathy for babies, a tendency for subtle power plays and who views Andy as the office funnyguy has vanished without a trace, replaced by a bundle of neuroses and stage fright and now brushed off or even made fun of by the people who seven days earlier were openly sucking up to him. The writers also went for the WILL FERRELL TALKING LOUDLY gag they so expertly avoided last week. A shame.

Outside of Deangelo, the episode was intermittently amusing without ever being great. I liked the introduction video to the Dundies, Phyllis' quiet indignity at Stanley getting all the diabetes attention, Toby's uncertainty that they convicted the real Scranton Strangler, Erin hiding from Gabe (and Jim wanting nothing to do with it), Michael's analysis of the Godfather trilogy, and Ryan rationalizing not being named office hottie.

The "Seasons of Love" parody song really didn't work, though. It's a fine, difficult line to walk between emotional and schmaltzy (one that The Office did successfully with Michael's proposal to Holly a few weeks back, and Parks and Recreation provided a veritable master class in with last week's "Andy and April's Fancy Party"), and that scene stumbled headfirst into schmaltzville. Altogether, a kind of disappointing penultimate episode for Michael Scott. Let's hope they recover quickly and don't pull a Lost with his finale next week.

Funniest Moment: Definitely Michael's interpretation of Jim in his Dundies introduction video ("Hey, you wanna listen to some records?"). That that's how Michael has viewed Jim all this time is so absurd yet makes so much sense.

Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 10 — "Soulmates"

Granted, "Soulmates" was the weakest episode since February's "Ron & Tammy: Part Two." But these are Parks and Recreation standards we're going by here; by ordinary sitcom standards it was still really great. Chris and Ron Swanson's burger cook-off was hilarious (and made me crave a burger more intensely than I ever have in my entire life), while further solidifying Ron and April as having the greatest boss-henchman dynamic on television. I loved most everything about the trips to the health and discount food stores. My one hesitation is that they need to be careful not to make Ron Swanson too victorious all the time, or else the character will start to grow tired. On occasion he needs to be taken down a peg.

Leslie and Tom's non-romantic A-plot I was a little iffier on. There was nothing really wrong with it and it had its share of smiles and chuckles, but it was light on true belly laughs (outside of "FUCK YOU ANN!", of course). And as I've mentioned before, I'm still not quite where the show wants me to be in regards to Leslie and Ben's romantic tension.

Funniest Moment: It's tempting to go with Ron and April throwing out the vegan bacon, but for whatever reason my absolute favorite thing was how happy Ron was about shopping at Food and Stuff.

30 Rock, Season 5 Episode 20/21 — "100"

What a great tribute to the entirety of 30 Rock. It's no secret that, despite a relatively strong season, I think 30 Rock's best days are behind it, but this episode gave me wonderfully nostalgic flashbacks to when I considered it the best comedy on television. The combination of bringing Liz and Jack's relationship to the forefront (and deconstructing it going back to the pilot), Tracy reentering the narrative in a big way, a plethora of great guest stars both new and classic, more writers room and TGS antics than we've had in a while, and a smattering of flashbacks (not nearly enough to actually consider it a "clip show," just a couple minutes worth spread across an hourlong episode) coalesced to form what's certainly one of the three or four best episodes the show has had in its last couple years, and probably the single warmest and most pleasant to watch for the longtime 30 Rock fan. And seeing as I watched the pilot live on television on October 11th, 2006, it don't get much more longtime than me. Whatever shit I may occasionally give it, this is one of the all-time great sitcoms.

Funniest Moment: "I'm gettin' too old for this 'shh' sound that comes from this gas pipe."

Community, Season 2 Episode 21 — "Paradigms of Human Memory"

After a funny but relatively generic episode last week, Community again brings the brilliance and reaffirms its status as my second-favorite sitcom of all time. Despite being by far the best sitcom episode of the week this will be a short writeup, because I don't have that much coherent criticism to offer outside of just listing everything that happened and being like "Yep, loved that. Loved that. Laughed my ass off at that." This isn't the first sitcom episode to use the "fake clip show" format (Clerks: The Animated Series notably did so in its second episode, "The Clipshow Wherein Dante and Randal are Locked in the Freezer and Remember Some of the Great Moments in Their Lives," over ten years ago), but it's definitely my new favorite example. All those locations must have made this episode the biggest pain in the ass to shoot since Halloween's zombie apocalypse, and you gotta admire them going to an Old West set and getting Old West costumes for what amounted to thirty seconds of screentime.

I loved the return of Annie's Boobs, I loved seeing the Christmas claymation special from the real world POV, I loved Abed's love of The Cape (even if I hated The Cape myself), I loved Chang stuck on the outside of the diorama looking in, I loved the gang in an insane asylum, I loved Pierce trying to become a living god, I loved Jeff's final clip show speech, and now I find that I'm just listing things I loved exactly like I said I wasn't going to. Wrapping it up! This show rules.

Funniest Moment: The parody of Jeff / Annie shipper fan videos was brilliant, hilarious, and ballsy as hell in the way that, for over a minute of screentime, it didn't even pretend to be coherent or accessible to people who haven't followed Community fandom beyond their televisions. The brilliance and hilarity then exploded to unprecedented new heights with the Pierce / Abed shipper fan video. I love this show.

Weekly Power Rankings: 1. Community 2. 30 Rock 3. Parks and Recreation 4. The Office

NBC Sitcom Roundup for 4/14/11

The Office, Season 7 Episode 20 — "Training Day"

I'm always leery when it comes to major celebrities (outside of those already in the main cast) setting foot in Dunder Mifflin. I don't know what it is about the energy of The Office that makes it feel more insular than other big sitcoms in that way, but something always felt just a little off to me when Kathy Bates was on the show, and that applies doubly to Will Ferrell. There's just no way to truly look at Deangelo Vickers and think "Deangelo Vickers" rather than "Will Ferrell." The power of the celebrity overwhelms the character.

But with that said, I absolutely think Ferrell did a good job. His character was a little poorly defined — sometimes he bordered on being a Michael clone (most notably in the cold open), sometimes he seemed like a straightforward everyman (his reaction to Kelly's attempted meet cute), sometimes he showed a darker side ("Drink some soap!") — but within those parameters Ferrell was surprisingly understated and, yes, funny. The writers buckled the hell down and delivered the funniest episode since February's "PDA" last Thursday, giving good moments to Deangelo, of course, but also providing wiggle room for Erin and Andy to slay. The talking head with a shellshocked Andy despondently accepting his new office funnyguy duties was perfection.

The one character who I thought was a bit weakly serviced comedically was Michael himself. "I happen to like the hilarious hijinks that I get myself into" was a great line, and he was involved in both of my personal funniest moments of the episode, but really, Erin was the star of both. The next two weeks might drift towards the maudlin, particularly when it comes to Steve Carell, but hopefully there'll be some bona fide Michael hilarity to accompany that. Let's send him off on a comedic as well as emotional high note, Office!

Funniest Moment: Deangelo's final line was pretty spectacular, but still, Erin's two big scenes — being caught in the middle of Michael and Deangelo's differing phone instructions and trying to shave Michael — trumped it in how long and loud I laughed. I'm glad Ellie Kemper is getting a shot at a real big screen role in Bridesmaids this summer. With a little luck (and faith in the mainstream viewing audience), she could definitely have some degree of legitimate stardom ahead of her.

Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 9 — "Andy and April's Fancy Party"

What a lovely little episode. I mean, I wasn't bellowing with laughter from one end to the other, but this was 22 minutes of blissfully pleasant television. I was just in a good mood after watching. And I give enormous kudos to the writers for springing a key "mythology" episode on us with absolutely no warning whatsoever, in sharp contrast to all the brouhaha surrounding Jim and Pam's wedding on The Office. I don't read spoilers or anything so I had no idea this was the April / Andy wedding episode until they told Leslie in the kitchen, and even then I didn't really expect them to go through with it, but nope! It was legit. Man and wife, baby.

Everything surrounding the wedding was Parks perfection. Ron Swanson and his ex-wife effigies (not to mention his tooth in the cold open); Jerry and his terrible shirt; Tom struggling for best man supremacy; every moment with Chris; and the sullen goth teenager Orin, who makes a great addition to the Parks universe and simply must return in future episodes. And April and Andy themselves, of course. I'm rooting for those two boneheads to make it work.

My one major critique: I'm not feeling the romantic chemistry the show wants me to be feeling between Leslie and Ben. I just get platonic vibes there, no matter how much they try to convince me otherwise. If they kiss I'm worried it'll just freak me out.

Funniest Moment: Not to be confused with my favorite moment, would could be any one of several heartwarming scenes, but the biggest laugh was the animal trainers throwing the dead bird onto the living room floor and then the one going "Okay. Alright, so that one is dead — we know that."

30 Rock, Season 5 Episode 19 — "I Heart Connecticut"

"I Heart Connecticut" was a pretty ho-hum, down-the-middle 30 Rock. I watched, I chuckled, I doubt I'll remember anything about it a few weeks from now. Liz and Kenneth's hunt for Tracy had a few laughs (and one particularly big one, mentioned down below), and it was nice to finally get a solid Tracy scene at the end for the first time in months. Tracy's line about ketchup was hilarious. It seemed like Jack and Jenna's titular Connecticut B-plot was attempting to satirize something, although (outside of torture porn) I'm not entirely sure what. Unusually, I actually thought Pete's subplot was the high point of the episode. There's something I can't say but once or twice a year.

Funniest Moment: This is nowhere near as big a laugh as my funniest Office and Parks moments this week, but Liz telling Kenneth to act normal before getting on webcam with Tracy and Kenneth immediately greeting Tracy with "Hello, I'm a baby!" in a British (?) accent, followed by Liz hissing "What are you doing?!" was wonderfully absurd.

Community, Season 2 Episode 20 — "Competitive Wine Tasting"

Oddly, despite a lot of individual funny moments and three guest stars — Kevin Corrigan, Stephen Tobolowsky, and Michelle Krusiec — who I like a lot, "Competitive Wine Tasting" never quite gelled into a cohesive comedic whole for me. I guess this was due in part to how disconnected every subplot felt from every other subplot and how each was pretty predictable as soon as it got past the setup stage. Pierce's engagement to Wu Mei being exposed as a sham, Abed showing up his professor in the realm of classic sitcom trivia, and Troy having to reveal that his molestation was fake were exactly how you'd expect each subplot to play out, and they did, with little deviation.

Within those limits, however, there were lots of little moments to enjoy. Particularly in Troy and Britta's subplot, with Kevin Corrigan getting a great spotlight, Garrett's traumatic non-childhood memory of playground taunting, and Britta kissing Troy, perhaps the episode's one unexpected twist. I'm curious to see if there'll be any followup on or fallout from that throughout the remainder of the season.

Funniest Moment: God help me, but my biggest laugh was Britta announcing to Pierce's engagement party that Troy was molested. Stephen Tobolowsky opening the drawer wide enough to reveal the pistol before opening it wider to reveal What WAS Happening?: An Analysis of What's Happening was also a perfect sight gag.

Weekly Power Rankings: 1. Parks and Recreation 2. The Office 3. Community 4. 30 Rock

Scream 4

(Note — This review is spoiler-free until after the cut. Obviously I don't count stuff like "there's a masked killer slashing people" as spoiler material, nor do I count common knowledge about the fifteen-year-old original Scream, but info about who lives, who dies, and who the killer is in Scream 4 is safely tucked away.)

It's no secret that straight-up body count horror is probably my least favorite film genre. I think I've given it more than a fair shake — I've watched most of the essential "classics," and in the last couple of years alone I've seen the assorted reboots and remakes of Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm Street, and Sorority Row — and I'm yet to be convinced that the genre consists of much more than turgid exercises in formula.

But then there's Scream; a slasher movie I not only like but consider a classic and probably one of my top ten films of 1996. It's just so funny and so instantly watchable and has such a great lineup of characters by the standards of the horror genre, and it achieves all that without even being particularly gory beyond the opening gutting of Drew Barrymore. The collegiate Scream 2 was also pretty good — not great, but still well above the ninetieth percentile as go slasher flicks — but Scream 3 sucked donkey balls.

And that brings us to Scream 4, the decade-later third sequel I'm not sure anyone asked for. But it turns out Scream 2 and Scream 3 aren't so relevant — the filmmakers understand that it's Scream people carry fondness and nostalgia for, so while the events of Scream 2 and 3 are barely mentioned, Scream is so integral to Scream 4's plot and so frequently and intimately referenced that the film might as well be in Latin if you aren't familiar with the events that went down in Woodsboro circa 1996.

Sidney Prescott is back in Woodsboro on the anniversary of the original killings for a booksigning (she's an author now, kind of random, but whatever), along with her publicist, awesomely played by Community's Alison Brie. The now-married Gale Weathers and Officer Dewey are around too, as is Sidney's teenaged cousin Jill Roberts (Emma Roberts) and a plethora of Jill's teen friends (most notably Hayden Panettiere as a horror buff, but also Marielle Jaffe, Erik Knudsen, Rory Culkin, Nico Tortorella, Friday Night Lights' Aimee Teegarden, and so on). And, well, I think you know what happens next: a Ghostface killer starts calling people, asking about scary movies, and slicing them up.

If you're looking for bloody kills, they're definitely here; quite a few more than in the original Scream. If you're looking for commentary on scary movies (including lip service towards torture porn and the remake bonanza), it's here every bit as much as ever, in close enough to every single scene. And if you're looking for nostalgia for the first movie, you're covered.

Unfortunately, other key components of the original's greatness aren't so well-represented. Likable characters, for one. I loved Alison Brie on account of, well, being Alison Brie, and I kind of enjoyed the cops played by Adam Brody and Anthony Anderson, but the new teen cast is so, so uninteresting. At no point was I ever actually concerned for any of their lives or upset when one of them got offed, in contrast to, say, Randy Meeks from the initial Scream trilogy. There's also a strange lack of menace and energy to the film — teenagers are getting butchered, yet everyone seems to be simply going about their days and hanging out without a care in the world.

The horror film commentary, while undeniably present, no longer feels like they're playing with clichés so much as just acknowledging that they exist and then immediately adhering to them. Even by slasher standards, there are too many scenes that require characters to suffer sudden, intense bouts of retardation to get them where the plot needs them to be (and I have more thoughts on specifics beyond the spoiler cut).

Overall, the movie is absolutely better than Scream 3, which had a cast of characters that far exceed this one in sheer dullness and a final reveal that was astounding in how apathetic it made me feel. And it's also better than Sorority Row or the new Nightmare on Elm Street. It's watchable. It just fails to match the first two in freshness, wit, or, since it's difficult to care about the characters, scares. Check it out if and only if you love Scream, but don't expect anything special.


2 Stars out of 5
But we ain't done yet! Full spoiler talk beyond the cut! Pun partially intended!

The Eagle

The Eagle may be the most unexpectedly enjoyable movie of 2011 to date. Not the best movie — it's trumped by Rango, The Lincoln Lawyer, and Source Code off the top of my head — but simply the most pleasant surprise. The wildly lukewarm critical response and presence of Channing Tatum indicated overwhelming mediocrity, but turns out it's an underrated, eminently watchable meat 'n' potatoes action-adventure flick that I'd recommend to anyone looking for some unpretentious fun. Way, way before I'd recommend Battle: Los Angeles for the same thing, that's for damn sure.

Channing Tatum plays (the fictional) Marcus Flavius Aquila, a second-century Roman centurion and son of a commander in the (nonfictional) Ninth Legion, which disappeared in northern Britain twenty years earlier. Despite that lingering shame, Marcus up and proves himself as a military commander before being wounded and honorably discharged, leaving him despondent and with little to live for. He later saves a slave named Esca from execution by gladiator, and the two take off into hostile and unexplored northern British territory to track down and recover the Ninth Legion's lost golden eagle standard. Needless to say, fights, battles, and chases ensue.

The relationship between Marcus and Esca gives the movie an interesting hook as it doesn't take the easy way out of having them be buddy-buddy as soon as Marcus rescues him. In fact, Esca makes it known shortly thereafter that he loathes Marcus, the Romans, and everything they stand for and would just as soon see them all dead, but he is honor bound to Marcus for saving his life. The movie lets this tension simmer admirably and occasionally erupt as they plunge deeper into enemy territory and the titles of master and slave become increasingly blurred and meaningless, and it's actually pretty fun to watch. I don't think I'm spoiling anything to reveal that they gradually begin to develop some mutual respect, and I like that the movie makes them get there from the ground level. Jamie Bell is pretty likable as Esca, and hell, I'll admit it, even Channing isn't too bad.

There's nothing overwhelmingly special or fancy about the fights and larger battle sequences, but if there's one thing the CGI headache of Sucker Punch should have taught us it's that sometimes less is more. A few dudes banging swords together is A-OK so long as it's decently choreographed, has some weight to it, and you're reasonably invested in the characters at hand. It's all PG-13 safe, and while I probably would have liked it more with some R-rated bloodshed, that's only because I'm a bloodthirsty savage. There's no real swearing and not the slightest hint of sexuality, so as is the movie is pretty safe for grandparents everywhere.

As with last year's Centurion, there's something slightly uncomfortable about the movie positioning Romans — i.e. the invading force — as our heroes and the British — i.e. defenders of their country — as the villains. It feels a bit like rooting for the Galactic Empire. But in all fairness, both The Eagle and Centurion avoid depicting the Celtic antagonists as mustache-twirlers, in both films giving them dialogue about how the Romans invaded their homes, killed their sons and raped their daughters, and in both movies there's Roman characters who appear shitty, unscrupulous, and devoid of honor and courage in a way the Celts are never depicted as. Still though, if they make another film around this setting and era maybe it's time for a British protagonist.

The most interesting structural concept at work in The Eagle is that it starts with what's basically an entirely self-contained twenty-minute opening movie, complete with its own conflicts, character arcs, three-act structure, climactic battle, and a cast that's entirely switched out except for Channing Tatum upon completion. Marcus Aquila arrives to command a small Roman outpost in the opening minutes and is met with fairly open distrust at his family background and leadership methods. But respect follows quickly enough when his new fortifications save the outpost from attack, and it comes down to a final battle on the field out front in which Marcus is wounded but survives. Then the movie starts all over again with Marcus recovering from his wounds in south Britain before meeting Esca, with basically no continuity with the opening segment whatsoever except for Marcus having a limp.

I actually find this really interesting in how defiant it is of contemporary narrative structure. Except for a few references to the wound and a scene where Marcus gets surgery, both of which occur before Marcus and Esca head north, the opening twenty minutes could be entirely, cleanly deleted without any impact on the larger narrative whatsoever. It's like the pretitle sequences of some of the older James Bond movies, except even longer. But this standalone opening war sequence is arguably to the movie's benefit, giving it the feel of watching an epic TV miniseries. It makes the story feel bigger and more sprawling.

The Eagle also has perhaps the least female presence of any movie I've seen since Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, despite being based on a novel by the assuredly female Rosemary Sutcliff. There isn't a single credited actress or woman with a line of dialogue in 114 minutes (although there are a few female extras). And you thought 300 was beefcake city! Between that, all the warfare, and the depiction of a simpler time of widespread slavery and social inequality, I'd say this is the greatest film for closeted gay Republicans to come along in years.

While I'm not about to make any argument that The Eagle is an overlooked masterpiece or a film people will revisit for years to come (and I doubt it'll make my top movies of 2011 list), I do think it deserves more credit than it got. It's a hearty, filling mix of hack 'n' slash action, sweeping landscape cinematography, and bromance that easily passes the time. I hope it gets a little more attention on Netflix than it got at the box office.


3 Stars out of 5

2010 Kraemer Movie Awards Part V — The Best #10-6

#10 - THE AMERICAN


The American is one of the most hilarious bait-and-switch jobs pulled on the masses in recent years: a methodically paced, introspective art film that was marketed as a Bourne-style action thriller, resulting in many profoundly unhappy filmgoers. But for those who aren't counting the days until Transformers: Dark of the Moon, there was a lot to love about this moody, fascinating character study. George Clooney plays an assassin hiding out and building a custom sniper rifle in a small Italian village, and his performance is notable for cranking the typical Clooney glib likability down to zero. In fact, it's made clear minutes in that this is not a good guy we're dealing with, which makes his romance with an Italian prostitute played by Violante Placido all the more fascinating to watch unfold. And the most ironic thing about the "omg, no explosions, so boring!" crowd is that this movie's final act is one of the most tense and nerve-racking I've seen in ages, a master class on making a thriller thrilling with little obvious action.

#9 - TRUE GRIT


Watching True Grit feels like stepping through time to an era long before Unforgiven (and long, long before Deadwood) when Westerns weren't necessarily deconstructions of the genre or drenched in R-rated violence and could just as easily be breezy adventure movies about heroic lawmen taking down nasty outlaws. Difference being that it's directed by Joel and Ethan Coen, so it's a hell of a lot better than almost all of those movies were. You can tell that the Coens are in love with the genre and having immense fun working with the Old West settings and especially the stylized, vaguely poetic Old West dialogue, and that fun is contagious. The entire cast is superb — Jeff Bridges may not be the iconic American cowboy that John Wayne was, but he's definitely a better actor — but it's little Hailee Steinfeld who walks away with the thing, managing to come across as badass while sharing the screen with armed men three to five times her age.

#8 - THE TOWN


The Town may have the worst title of the year, but that's handily made up for by what an awesome bit of cops 'n' robbers pulp it is, not as good (and definitely not as subtle or intelligent) as Ben Affleck's first directorial effort Gone Baby Gone, but more than enough to officially declare him an exciting filmmaker to watch. Great car chase, great shootout, great monologue from Jon Hamm that ends with him telling Affleck to "go fuck yourself." A less than 100% convincing love story, but hey, no movie's perfect. It's not on the same level as The Departed or Heat as far as American crime thrillers go, but I'd say it's a solid second tier down. Jeremy Renner is a scary, badass mofo as Affleck's volatile best frenemy.

#7 - TOY STORY 3


The thing I really admire about Toy Story 3 is that it's actually two movies in one. One of those movies, which occupies the middle section of the complete film, is an exciting, self-contained prison break movie for all ages. And I don't mean that it's kind of like a prison break movie if you think about it long enough, I mean that's just flat-out what it is. It's an entry into the prison break subgenre. That by itself sort of kicks ass because I don't think it's what anyone expected from Pixar. I know I sure didn't. And then the second movie, found at the beginning and end of the whole of Toy Story 3, is a very warm, poignant and moving wrapping up of the trilogy as a whole, putting a supremely satisfying bow on the relationship between Andy and his toys. You could watch it even removed from the prison break middle segment and you'd still have one of the year's great films. Rock on, Pixar. Well, once you get done with this year's soulless corporate cash-in, anyway.

#6 - KICK-ASS


Kick-Ass is. Aside from one more film coming up in my top five it's the most pure, giddy, unapologetic fun I had sitting in a movie theater in 2010. It's just so goofy and so violent, and the sociopathic preteen vigilante Hit-Girl in particular is probably the year's most entertaining new movie character (and the brief cultural outrage that sprung up around her was hilarious). There's no debating that the film's first act ambitions of showing what it would actually be like if you put on a costume and went out to fight crime fall to pieces as soon as the eleven-year-old ninjas, rocket launchers, and jetpacks show up, but that doesn't derail Kick-Ass being 2010's best "turn off your brain" pop entertainment. I look forward to seeing what else director Matthew Vaughn can pull off with the superhero genre in X-Men: First Class.

Hall Pass

The Farrelly brothers peaked in the 90s and it's been downhill ever since. Whether that peak was in 1994 with Dumb & Dumber or 1998 with There's Something About Mary can be debated — I'm pretty sure most would go with the former — but speaking as someone who's seen Me, Myself & Irene, Shallow Hal, Stuck on You, and now Hall Pass over the last decade (never got around to The Heartbreak Kid), I feel extremely confident in saying that the last good Farrelly bros film is long behind us. The likes of Judd Apatow and David Wain have taken the ribald, R-rated comedy ball and run with it, while the Farrellys have failed to keep pace with the times.

Hall Pass is about two married guys named Rick and Fred (Owen Wilson and Jason Sudeikis), both restless after years of monogamy to their wives Maggie and Grace (Jenna Fischer and Christina Applegate). But when Maggie overhears Rick talking with poker buddies about other women he wants to sleep with and Fred is caught jacking off in one of the movie's few funny scenes (a "caught masturbating" gag almost always tickles my funny bone outside of American Pie straight-to-DVD sequels), the two women take off on vacation, leaving Rick and Fred with the titular hall pass: a free invitation to sleep with other women for a week, no guilt, no questions, no strings attached.

The middle act mostly consists of Rick and Fred getting shot down by women and loafing around bored and anxious waiting for their wives to come back. Despite occasional attempts to salvage the film by Stephen Merchant and J.B. Smoove as two of their buddies, this whole act is spectacularly boring for what's supposed to be a raucous comedy. We get the standard Apatow-era comedic penis shot when Rick visits a gym hot tub and a scene where Fred goes to get a rub and tug at an Asian massage parlor that fizzles out into laugh-free anticlimax, but other than these two scenes there's barely even an attempt at a legitimately clever comedic set piece like the zipper or hair gel bits from Something About Mary. The film even goes to the long-drained well of having the guys get high and then showing them with red eyes being all high as if that's hilarious.

We also occasionally cut to Maggie and Grace during this time. I appreciate the Farrellys at least attempting to keep a female presence in the film, but the problem is they forgot to make these scenes funny at all. Jenna Fischer in particular is horribly underserved by the script, which tries to make her the film's wise character by giving her basically nothing resembling a gag or punchline in 105 minutes. As someone who watches her be funny on The Office most every week this was kind of a bummer.

Then after two acts of relative mellowness, Hall Pass suddenly mutates into a completely different, infinitely broader film for its supposedly comedic climax, which includes a crazed gunman, a car chase, and an explosion of projectile diarrhea suddenly coating a bathroom wall. It's all very "90s wacky." This act also features the obligatory scene where the saucy Australian girl who's been flirting with Rick the whole movie exposes her breasts, and while I don't want to give the impression that I object to exposed breasts, the way they're revealed in this case almost feels like "here's your reward for sitting through our shitty movie."

Owen Wilson is inoffensive but completely nondescript. Fifty other comic actors could have done the role and nothing would have been lost. And I feel kind of bad saying this since he seems like a pleasant enough guy, but Jason Sudeikis isn't unique or funny enough to be anchoring feature films. I don't mind him in roles like Floyd on 30 Rock, but he just doesn't have that big screen charisma. He has another lead role coming up in Horrible Bosses in a few months — this time across from Jason Bateman, which is certainly a step up from Owen Wilson — and I'll give him a second chance, but that's my impression after Hall Pass. Why is he being given lead roles while Bill Hader has yet to rise above bit player in a live-action movie? Hollywood's mining the wrong SNL talent.

Hall Pass is a movie that somehow feels both sleepy and bland yet overly cartoony and like it's trying hard to be filthy while just becoming more quaint and precious with each attempt, like a kindergardener trying to offend you by swearing. With as much good comedy as there is filling the airwaves of television every week there's certainly no reason for anyone to waste their time with it.


1 Star out of 5

Limitless

Writing characters substantially smarter than you is tough. Not impossible, mind you — case in point, Aaron Sorkin. Now, I'm not saying Sorkin isn't a bright guy. You don't win an Oscar and a bunch of Emmys for screenwriting without a sharp mind. But on The West Wing he was writing a bunch of characters who were supposed to be Nobel Laureates and Ivy League summa cum laude graduates and leading experts on every topic under the sun and the greatest political geniuses in the country on a weekly basis, none of which Sorkin is, but thanks to the dense, propulsive dialogue I was almost always convinced.

And that brings us to the big problem with Limitless. The movie is about a down-and-out slacker (Bradley Cooper) who comes across a pill called NZT which expands your IQ into, according the film, the four-digit range, allowing you to become fluent in a language or master an instrument or get rich via the stock market within a matter of hours. But his behavior rouses suspicion and he begins making enemies, particularly when some less savory characters discover the truth of NZT and decide they want it for themselves. Relatively generic thriller stuff ensues.

It's a solid enough wish fulfillment fantasy in theory, but to really make such a story pop the writer and director need to be able to sell me on the idea that this pill makes you a goddamn genius beyond our wildest real-world comprehension. And they do! For exactly one scene. The very first scene where Cooper takes the NZT, not believing it's going to do anything, is a delightful little sequence where he starts rattling off obscure legal facts as fast as his mouth can move as not to get evicted, startled and puzzled himself by his brain's new might, quick visual flashbacks showing us the various places all throughout his life he picked up the facts he's now effortlessly reciting and connecting out of the corner of his eye. At this point I was sold and enjoying the hell out of the film.

Unfortunately, that one scene is also the only scene that's clever or well-written in that regard. For the rest of the movie we either come in on the tail end of a conversation where he's confidently quoting some context-free economic or sociopolitical fact that sounds like it was plucked from a textbook, or, more frequently, are told via his nonstop voiceover narration how much he rules and how easy this is for him while we see him doing something like sitting at his computer playing the stock market. I waited patiently for another scene that actually did a good job showing off his superpowered brain through dazzlingly quick-witted conversation, but it never came. Voiceover just lazily stitched in the gaps for the rest of the movie. I don't mind a little narration here and there, but at a certain point it's like holy shit, shut up, dude!

Eventually a gangster who Cooper borrowed some money from gets ahold of his NZT and the movie turns into a more traditional and less interesting chases-and-gunplay thriller with very little personality. This part of the film has not one but multiple scenes where characters take NZT to give them the burst of genius to escape deadly situations, but none of the escapes the writer comes up with are anywhere near clever or impressive enough to convince me that a four-digit IQ was required to pull them off. I will grant that there's a scene near the end of the movie where Cooper has to eat something impressively gross; one of the few moments of genuinely colorful filmmaking and probably the film's best scene after that first NZT high. But a couple of strong scenes does not a strong movie make.

There are other characters besides Bradley Cooper's, including Robert De Niro as a business tycoon guy who Cooper falls in with and Abbie Cornish as Cooper's girlfriend, but I didn't mention any of them because none of them are unique or memorable in the slightest. I doubt I could have told you any of their names by the time I reached my car in the theater parking lot. Anna Friel shows up as a former NZT addict and the movie tries to make it out that she looks like some horrific meth head to show us the dangers of the drug, but all she looks like is an incredibly pretty and healthy girl with no makeup on, so the impact is, uh, diluted.

Limitless ultimately emerges as an incredibly dumb movie about incredibly smart people. I guess you gotta give it the grand prize for irony, if nothing else.


2 Stars out of 5

NBC Sitcom Roundup for 3/24/11

Advance warning — gushing all around this week. If you're looking to see me rip something to shreds, better hold off on reading this post!

The Office, Season 7 Episode 19 — "Garage Sale"

We come to it at last — the beginning of the end. And I liked it! With the caveat that marrying Holly and leaving Scranton with her is the most insanely predictable ending for Michael Scott imaginable, the first thing that popped into all of our minds when Carell's impending departure was announced a year ago. But this is The Office, not Lost or 24, and I don't think predictable plotting is that big a problem so long as it's funny and moving, which it was. The way Pam and the rest tried to help Michael with keeping his proposal "safe and responsible and realistic and doable" was very sweet (even if it resulted in Oscar and Ryan teleporting from the conference room to the warehouse and back again in a slightly horrific bit of editing I can't believe they didn't catch in post).

The proposal itself stood in contrast to Jim's sudden, rainy, roadside proposal to Pam (okay, there was still rain, but of a different sort). I loved that one specifically for the way it shirked TV proposal conventions, while this one embraces them, roomful of candles and crying and cheering crowd and all, but it was still likable due to how much I enjoy the characters and how damn well Carell and Amy Ryan played it. Holly's been a godsend for this show's chemistry ever since she first showed up in season four, even with a thirty-episode gap between appearances, and as syrupy and cheesy as the proposal scene may have been it was impossible not to smile at her reaction to seeing the ring.

Some have questioned whether or not Michael Scott truly even deserves a happy ending after all his hissy fits and manchild antics and fake firings and poor management and fucking Pam's mom and Scott's Tots, but I'd retort that this is only half a happy ending anyway. Michael got the girl, sure, and she's wonderful. But he's also leaving the company he's been with for decades and all the rest of his friends for a city he's never been to with no job prospects to care for two Alzheimery old people he's never met. That's a bittersweet ending at the very best. But let's not jump the gun too much on discussing the departure of Michael Gary Scott, which doesn't officially go down until April 28th. I'll have much more to say then, trust me.

The non-Michael and Holly elements of the episode — Dwight's trading sequence (which I found reminiscent of The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening), Darryl, Andy and Kevin's Dallas game, Ryan's foodstuffs business — were nondescript but solid. I think we all saw Dwight giving in and trading his final prize for Jim's beans a mile in advance. Still, this was a great episode. That it's ranked fourth this week isn't a slight but just goes to show how damn good last Thursday's sitcom block was.

Funniest Moment: The internet collective seems to have decided on Kevin's "And that... is Dallas," which did make me laugh pretty loud, but I have to go with Michael showing off Holly's engagement ring with "They say three years salary," followed by Oscar's quiet, plaintive "Nooo."

Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 8 — "Camping"

Parks and Recreation's hot streak continues with its fourth consecutive brilliant episode. Funny thing is that it didn't start overwhelmingly strongly, with the city manager's groping heart attack and subsequent office teasing of Leslie eliciting more chuckles than true laughs, but the episode got better with each act — each minute, almost — until by the time the gang stopped by the bed and breakfast I was laughing long, loud, and frequently. The fuck is a German muffin, indeed. Like "Harvest Festival" it was a great episode for Leslie and Ben in particular, with Ron Swanson again making a huge impact with a handful of moments. Tom's luxury Sky Mall tent was mildly funny at first but became hilarious upon the revelation that he was drawing power from the van.

The way they brought back Chris Traeger was just a little forced, but at the same time I'd much rather have Chris back with a slightly forced explanation than not have him back at all. It's kind of interesting how Ben and Chris were introduced as a duo with identical jobs but have in ten episodes reached such different places in relation to the parks department and the people therein. I doubt my heart will ever be stirred by Chris and Ann's romance, but Rashida Jones' grand delivery of "I have to move, right?" made their whole subplot in this episode worthwhile.

Funniest Moment: Right up until the very end of the episode it was Tom's "Great idea. Thanks, White Urkel," but then the ending credits tag blew that out of the water, especially Ben's final line. How rare to see a sitcom episode go out comedically on top in literally its final three seconds. I've said before and I'll say again that Adam Scott is impossibly funny and an amazing addition to the show. It already feels like he's been here from the beginning.

30 Rock, Season 5 Episode 18 — "Plan B"

I'm loving what they've done with Tracy's absence from the show, taking a couple of missed episodes that could have easily passed quietly with him simply being offscreen and turning it into the first look at TGS in full-blown crisis we've ever really gotten. This episode wasn't quite like anything 30 Rock's ever done before (which I guess could also be said for last week's "Queen of Jordan," except this time I mean it in a good way), and while it not surprisingly came down to being about Liz and Jack, I liked the little moments of the various supporting characters embarking on their own personal plan Bs. Particularly Sue's The Mentalist parody, because that's some top-shelf absurdity right there.

Liz reaching the end of her rope and possibly career freed the character up to be a little looser and funnier than she's been lately, and Jack had a good old business shark subplot, which the writers always tend to nail with him. Devon Banks and his gaybies were pretty awesome (true story: when Devon appeared I was like, wow, it's been so long since I've seen Will Arnett! But no, it hasn't; I had just already forgotten that Running Wilde ever existed) and I'm liking Hank Hooper a lot more this time around than I did in his first appearance, probably thanks to his new gimmick of smiling widely and talking in a warm, friendly tone about how furious he is. This was a strong episode all around and I look forward to seeing where TGS's forced hiatus takes the show from here.

Funniest Moment: As someone who generally loves Aaron Sorkin and hated Studio 60, I thought the entire Sorkin scene was brilliant, particularly the "Studio 60?" "Shut up." exchange. In fact, I'd go so far as to call it the best celebrity-playing-themselves cameo 30 Rock's ever done, even over Al Gore.

Community, Season 2 Episode 19 — "Critical Film Studies"

Now this was more like it. Not that "Intro to Political Science" and "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy" were bad by any means, they were just... less than peak Community. But this episode honestly could have gone on for an hour and I wouldn't have minded in the least. When I realized Jeff and Abed's conversation was ending I felt really disappointed, like, no! I want more of this! It was such a sharply-written parody of My Dinner with Andre (I loved the use of Gymnopédie No.1), and Abed's Cougar Town monologue, lie or not, was just superb. Huge kudos to Danny Pudi for the way he started Abed out as being weirdly non-weird then very gradually allowed natural Abed to leak back in over the course of the dinner sequence.

The Pulp Fiction side of things stood out less than the Andre side, but still allotted at least one great moment for each character (Troy and his good no-no juice, Shirley's synopsis of Pulp Fiction for Pierce, and a couple of Annie and Britta moments I'll come back to in a minute). The visual of the cast dressed up as Tarantino characters, while an easy pop culture gag, was still a cute and likable one.

Fantastic piece of television any way you look at it; as comedy, as parody, but perhaps most importantly as an almost uncomfortably penetrative character study of Abed. It's also interesting to see Community calling out its own movie parodies in such a direct, borderline fourth wall-breaking way, with Jeff angrily describing the episode's events as "yet another stupid movie spoof." It feels like the show is barreling towards some sort of final showdown with its own meta-ness, and I can't wait to see what that may be.

Funniest Moment: While not the best or most interesting moment by any means, for whatever reason it was Britta and Annie's exchange of "What, I have 3D vision now?" "Yes... you do." "You don't know me!" that really set me off on a laughing fit. I also liked Annie's "Everyone hates Britta!" later on. Britta getting crapped on in general makes me laugh, probably because of how detached and cool and above it all she was written as being at the beginning of the series. She's not the best current sitcom character but she may be the most improved one.

Weekly Power Rankings: 1. Community 2. Parks and Recreation 3. 30 Rock 4. The Office

2010 Kraemer Movie Awards Part IV — The Best #15-11

#15 - 127 HOURS


Like The Disappearance of Alice Creed, 127 Hours is another 2010 film that tackles the limited cast / limited location concept with considerably more aplomb than Buried. Difference is that this one actually did achieve widespread critical acclaim, even securing a deserved Best Picture nomination. And the difference between 127 Hours and both those other movies is that rather than human antagonists, our hero here faces down Mother Earth herself in the form of a big ol' damn boulder that crushes his arm and leaves him wasting away in the middle of nowhere for the eponymous timeframe. James Franco is incredible as Aron Ralston and while director Danny Boyle arguably overcompensates for the restricted setting with a few too many flashbacks and fantasy sequences, he makes the scene where (spoilers for real life) Ralston severs his own arm with a dull pocket knife into one of the most visceral and painful cinematic sequences damn near ever. It's up to you to decide whether Franco appeared to be in more peril here or hosting the Academy Awards.

#14 - ANIMAL KINGDOM


One of the best organized crime films since The Departed — less stylized yet quite a bit more harrowing and filled with dread — Animal Kingdom is an Australian flick that presents a crime family at the cusp of their downfall as seen through the eyes of one young, unwitting member who wants out. Despite the presence of Guy Pearce as a good cop (the noblest I've ever seen him) and an intimidating Ben Mendelsohn, it's Jacki Weaver who dominates as the outwardly warm and loving yet intensely creepy family matriarch. She was nominated for Best Supporting Actress and I wouldn't have minded if she'd won. The teenaged protagonist played by James Frecheville is a bit of a cipher and probably the least interesting character, but on the other hand this movie has the most sudden, shocking, and brutal onscreen deaths of 2010. Not just one but a few. My jaw hit the floor multiple times.

#13 - SOLITARY MAN


Now here's a good one that seemed to fly under everyone's radars ($4.3 million domestic box office) and was tragically overshadowed as the year's Michael Douglas film by the embarrassing and unnecessary Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps. Douglas plays a man who starts out not particularly unlike Gordon Gekko — smooth, wealthy, callous — and then proceeds to lose everything, from his health to his wealth to his family. It sounds and is occasionally crushing, but at the same time Solitary Man is a surprisingly breezy and enjoyable watch, largely thanks to its killer lineup for such a small film: Douglas, but also Susan Sarandon, Jesse Eisenberg, Danny DeVito, Mary-Louise Parker, Olivia Thirlby, The Office's Jenna Fischer, The West Wing's Richard Schiff in a small role; even Britta from Community makes a cameo if you watch closely. As of this posting it's one of five films on this top 25 (along with The Karate Kid, Shutter Island, and two upcoming entries) on Netflix Watch Instantly, so assuming you haven't seen it I'd highly recommend it.

#12 - THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES


I'll say upfront that I don't think The Secret in Their Eyes deserved the Best Foreign Language Film Oscar it picked up a year ago (and we'll talk more about the film that did later on), but that don't change what an elegant and classy little murder mystery it is. Visually impressive, too: smack in the middle of the film is a one-shot, five-minute chase all through a stadium utilizing hundreds of extras and a plethora of complex camera moves that's easily the coolest single-shot scene since Children of Men. The film is relatively unpredictable, well-acted, soulful, just a little romantic, and even a touch funny here and there. And it's one of the other two films on Netflix Watch Instantly I mentioned a minute ago, so check it out. (Oh, and I'm aware that it came out way back in 2009 in Argentina, but it didn't hit theaters in the States and I didn't see it until summer of 2010, so I count it as a 2010 film. Apologies to my Argentinian fanbase.)

#11 - MACGRUBER


MacGruber is one of only two 2010 films that stacks up to the high points of last year's best TV comedies — Community, Parks and Recreation, Party Down, Louie — in terms of laugh count and is effortlessly the greatest Saturday Night Live film adaptation since Wayne's World in 1992. But Wayne's World is less the film I'd compare it to than Austin Powers, doing for American 80s action flicks what that film did for late 60s and early 70s secret agent movies. It's a shockingly hilarious and spot-on parody — a couple MacGruber-free scenes with the villains and military brass feel like they could be seamlessly inserted into real 80s action films — that you'll like more the more familiar you are with what it's mocking. At least make sure you've seen Rambo III first.

NBC Sitcom Roundup for 3/17/11

I've been mad busy with deadlines at work (and in fact have two or three I should be working right this second), so I've fallen pathetically far behind on my movie reviews, best of 2010 lists, TV pilot coverage, trailer analyses, and sitcom roundups on this here blog. Thankfully, I think this weekend should be relatively open, so I should be able to finally get the next part of the 2010 Kraemer Movie Awards up, and if we're lucky maybe even a movie review too. But if I start falling behind on my sitcom roundups all will be lost, so even though these episodes aired an entire week ago I'm gonna go ahead and knock out some super-quick thoughts on them. After all, the main reason I started these sitcom roundups in the first place was to chronicle Michael Scott's departure from The Office and what follows, and holy shit, that's only a few weeks away!

Oh, and hey, Community and Parks and Rec both got renewed! (And The Office and 30 Rock, but we knew that months ago.) Awesome! I always had a feeling they would be. Despite the early and tragic death of Terriers (and now Lights Out), all those Friday Night Lights renewals have made me a dumbass optimist.

Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 7 — "Harvest Festival"

I'll admit being a little nervous after the first few episodes of this season — all of which I liked, but none of which I loved — but for the last three episodes, "Media Blitz," "Indianapolis," and now "Harvest Festival," Parks has been absolutely killing it. Despite being a little light on Ron Swanson and having an Ann Perkins subplot that wasn't too interesting, this episode was great and for the second time in a row actually pulls off the stiff task of trumping the Community that aired the same evening.

First off, this was Leslie's best episode so far this season by a mile. Almost every second of her feud with tribal chief Ken Hotate was hilarious, and I really hope he's a recurring character. Adam Scott was at his dry, despondent best (especially when confused over the appeal of Li'l Sebastian), and April and Andy's "Dude, shut up! That is awesome sauce!" subplot showed off why they are, in many respects, more funny and likable than Jim and Pam were even back in The Office's heydey. Even Tom and Jerry's lost horse D-plot satisfied, and Ron Swanson straightening everyone out on the Ferris wheel made up for his limited presence throughout the rest of the episode.

Also, I was impressed by the final pre-credits shot. I mean, sure, you could make out the CGI in it, but on a sitcom budget that was a really fucking ambitious shot.

Funniest Moment: "That is exactly what happened."

30 Rock, Season 5 Episode 17 — "Queen of Jordan"

Sorry, didn't like it. In fact, I actually paused in the middle, took a break for a couple hours, then came back to finish it later. True, I did the same thing with the director's cut of Dances with Wolves and I liked that, but that was a 236-minute film; this is a 21-minute sitcom episode. I found the reality show gimmick to be tedious and unfunny — although I should note that the last episode of reality TV I saw was during the first season of Survivor in 2000, so I'm sure plenty of references went over my head — and other than Jack I didn't like what it brought out in any of the characters. The next time this show tries to make me laugh via Jane Krakowski singing I'm literally going to blow my brains out.

I do think it's interesting they've actually made a story arc out of Tracy Morgan's absence for his real-life kidney transplant — I assumed Tracy was simply going to be off screen with little explanation for two episodes and then quietly return, but nope, they've gone full serialized with it. Which would be great, except that I don't watch 30 Rock to find it interesting, I watch it to find it funny. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

Funniest Moment: Probably the cut to Jack with the "Jack, Tracy's Gay Boss" subtitle at the bottom. One of the few moments I thought actually made strong comedic use of the reality format.

Community, Season 2 Episode 18 — "Custody Law and Eastern European Diplomacy"

This episode was pretty middle-of-the-road by Community standards, but if you know how much I love Community you know that's still a compliment. Jeff, Shirley, and Chang's paternal rights story was a little standard and unimaginative (and I still kind of miss Chang the Spanish professor), but Britta trying to expose the truth of Abed and Troy's genocidal buddy was pretty damn funny, with great performances from all three actors. And, save for funniest moment, that's really about all I have to say.

Funniest Moment: That would have to be Britta's horrifically botched attempt at singing Britney Spears for Lukka near the beginning. I thought Gillian Jacobs was the series' comedic weak link back when it first premiered, but in gradually replacing her detached coolness with pure awkwardness (starting around the "bagel" fiasco) they've successfully made her fucking hilarious.

Weekly Power Rankings: 1. Parks and Recreation 2. Community 3. 30 Rock

2010 Kraemer Movie Awards Part III — The Best #20-16

#20 - THE DISAPPEARANCE OF ALICE CREED

For all that some critics talked up the disappointing Buried as a taut thriller that made impressive use of limited cast and location, there's another film that did those things and did them far, far better (and unfortunately it made even less than Buried at the domestic box office, topping off at $166,980). The Disappearance of Alice Creed is, boiled down, the story of two men holding a young woman captive in an apartment until they receive a ransom payment. But it's also so much more than that, throwing out twist after twist that I dare not reveal. It's a raw, violent, dirty piece of work, crime cinema done right using only three actors and a couple locations, and after giving some of the blandest performances ever in Prince of Persia and Clash of the Titans Gemma Arterton reveals herself to actually have real acting chops. Even the movie's seemingly straightforward title turns out to have a supremely clever hidden meaning. A perfect Netflix rental.

#19 - HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1


I said when reviewing the seventh and penultimate Potter that I wished they had just done the entirety of Deathly Hallows as one Return of the King-length mega-epic rather than chopping it in half, and I stand by that and will continue to do so even if Part 2 ends up being really good. But despite some ambivalence about the pacing I found this to be the most enjoyable Harry Potter since Goblet of Fire back in 2005, in no small part because it dumps the academic setting and turns into a chase movie — think less Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, more The Fugitive — with Voldemort and the newly fascist Ministry of Magic hunting our terrific trio to capture dead or alive. DP Eduardo Serra's gorgeous cinematography doesn't hurt either. The series' amazing adult cast gets less screentime sans Hogwarts, but on the other hand the film does against all odds manage to redeem the character of Dobby. Maybe in an alternate world, Jar Jar Binks could have been redeemed too. Well, probably not.

#18 - THE KING'S SPEECH


Sure, the fact that it's about dead British people, the World War II-era settings, the swelling orchestral score, the unabashedly inspirational narrative and the warm, agreeable tone make it clear that The King's Speech was gunning for Oscar gold from the greenlight on, and that they were so rewarded was somewhat frustratingly predictable. But none of that takes away from how good the movie actually is. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush give really great performances (not to mention Michael Gambon in his few minutes of screentime), and watching them work through King George's stammer makes for an engaging, likable, and occasionally even unexpectedly funny cinematic experience. The titular scene is gripping. Also, while this may be tangential to the movie's quality, David Seidler gave the classiest and most understated speech of the Academy Awards upon winning Best Original Screenplay.

#17 - SHUTTER ISLAND


If this were a top 25 best screenplays list, Shutter Island would be nowhere near it. The movie is very predictable and written in the broadest strokes. I bet most people could accurately guess the ending from the trailer alone, despite said trailer showing very little beyond the halfway point. But god damn does Martin Scorsese put on a great show behind the camera, crafting a truly stylish piece of modern noir pulp and making the titular setting — drenched in shadow, wracked by oppressive thunder and hurricanes, surrounded by jagged cliffs and angry oceans — into one of the most enjoyable horror locales of recent years. Shutter Island is probably the purest popcorn-muncher of Scorsese's career, a movie that honestly isn't a hell of a lot more subtle than Machete, but it's just a good solid time at the pictures and a much better representation of what the horror genre can and should be than Generic Teenage Slasher Flick #1138.

#16 - HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON


DreamWorks has never matched Pixar in poignancy, but that's okay, because in How to Train Your Dragon they've produced the best high fantasy flick of 2010, an energetic, freewheeling vikings-and-dragons adventure yarn that calls to mind the spirit of (a more family-friendly) Willow or Conan the Barbarian and is simply a blast to watch. The flying scenes have a breathtaking sense of freedom and while the central dragon-dragonslayer friendship does feel a bit like yet another spin on the Dances with Wolves / Last Samurai / Avatar "befriending the enemy" narrative, that doesn't make it any less charming. The rightly Oscar-nominated score is great and the end of the movie has this gargantuan fuck-off mountain-sized megadragon who could kick Cloverfield's ass and is definitely one of the coolest things I saw on the big screen last year.

2010 Kraemer Movie Awards Part II — The Best #25-21

I'll admit straight-up that I didn't love 2010 in movies quite as much as I did 2009. This became apparent contrasting my outline of this list with the winners of last year's Kraemer Movie Awards, where movies ranked as low as The Brothers Bloom at #21 and Up in the Air at #20 would have been easy top ten contenders had they come out a year later. But compiling my favorites was tricky nonetheless; there may have been fewer movies I fell in love with but there was still no shortage of ones I liked. I was forced to exclude several fine films, including one Best Picture nominee I enjoyed (and I'm not talking about The Kids Are All Right, which I excluded with glee). But the Oscars have already had their say. Now it's my turn, baby.

But first, slight change in format this year: I've been so busy that I haven't had time to sit down and write up the entirety of the top 25 and I kept putting it off, so instead of doing this in one go this is gonna be a six-day event, each entry revealing five more films and the finale selecting best performances, directors, screenplays, moments, and so on. "Six days?! And we thought the Oscars ran long!" *ba-dum ching* On with the show!

TOP 25 BEST MOVIES OF 2010

#25 - THE KARATE KID


I wanted to hate The Karate Kid. Remaking my favorite cinematic underdog story of all time — let alone one so inextricably linked with the 80s — seemed like pure fucking blasphemy. I walked into the theater sour, negative, and ready to tear it to pieces. Then it won me over completely. Sure, it should have been called The Kung Fu Kid, Jackie Chan's Mr. Han is no Mr. Miyagi, "jacket on, jacket off" is no "wax on, wax off," and the lack of "You're the Best" and that final crane kick assure that it will never be as iconic as the original, but what it does well it does almost shockingly well. The cinematography and tourism porn of China are gorgeous and the fight choreography is just awesome. The villains receive an absurd but entertaining facelift from the original's high school bullies to little demonic Yakuza-esque ninjas. The movie is 140 minutes long and I never even checked my watch. What can I say? I'm a sucker for the underdog arc.

#24 - MACHETE


The dual disappointment (and baffling acclaim in certain corners of the internet) of The Expendables and Piranha 3D left me thinking that this summer would yield little pure, pulpy B-movie pleasure, but it took just one badass Mexican federale to show me the error of my ways. Completely living up to the promise of the Grindhouse trailer from a few years back, Machete is a joyous, unrelenting festival of death and blood and gore and female nudity and goofily badass one-liners. The cast in and of itself is an absurd, hilarious mixture ranging from Steven Seagal to Lindsay Lohan to Jessica Alba to Robert De Niro (who I will never understand how they secured the services of), but it's Danny Trejo himself who dominates as the title character, doing for Mexploitation what Michael Jai White's Black Dynamite did for blaxploitation. It's the role he was born to play. I doubt we'll ever see the already-named sequel Machete Kills, but if I'm wrong I'll be first in line.

#23 - WINTER'S BONE


Whatever Winter's Bone may lack in narrative complexity or memorable dialogue it makes up for by oozing atmosphere and mood. The Ozark Mountain setting that director Debra Granik establishes, terrifyingly poor and infected by meth culture, may be the most bleak, haunting, and disquieting cinematic locale of 2010, a place that feels inescapably American yet wholly alien all at once. Jennifer Lawrence earns her Best Actress nomination as Ree Dolly, a tough teenager struggling to support her younger siblings and find her missing father before they lose their house, but I'd still say the movie is stolen by John Hawkes as her uncle Teardrop. He radiates an unreal menace that made it startling to realize I've never seen him play a character like this before. Redneck noir may be a tiny and obscure subgenre, but in this film it's found a new champion.

#22 - THE ILLUSIONIST


The Illusionist makes me weep for the semi-death of traditional 2D animation. Don't misunderstand; I love Pixar same as any respectable movie nerd, but a film this gorgeous and this warm and this atmospheric reminds one of how much that largely forgotten medium has left to give. The tale of an underemployed French magician and the young housemaid who is enchanted by his art and follows him to Edinburgh where they develop an easy father-daughter rapport, The Illusionist is a minimalist film played out in pantomime with literally about ten lines of dialogue. But the plot is secondary; what really matters is how astoundingly pretty it looks and how much its 1950s European settings leap off the screen to absorb you in the moment, making something as simple as a tiny village girl walking into a big city clothing store for the first time breathtaking. It's a beautiful and poignant film that truly deserves to be called art.

#21 - FAIR GAME


In depicting the Bush administration's exposure of CIA agent Valerie Plame, Fair Game serves many masters, functioning as a sort of political thriller, the domestic story of a marriage in turmoil, and most effectively as one final burst of Bush-era outrage. Yes, this is very much a movie to watch for the express purpose of making yourself angry at stuff that happened nearly a decade ago all over again, which may be counterproductive when there's so much stuff to be angry about today in 2011, but it excels at depicting the most depressing era in contemporary American political history and Naomi Watts is excellent as Plame. Sean Penn also does a good job as Plame's husband Joe Wilson, but I still kind of wish someone else had done the part, because when Penn starts going off on Bush it becomes hard to see the character rather than the actor. But that's one small blemish on what's probably the best pure political film of 2010.

NBC Sitcom Roundup for 2/24/11

The Office, Season 7 Episode 18 — "Todd Packer"

I've never really been a fan of Todd Packer, even in the "love to hate" kind of way. I like "The Carpet" from way back in season two, which revolves around a Packer prank, but the man himself only really appears in the closing minutes of that episode. Otherwise I find the obnoxious chemistry he brings into Dunder Mifflin more something to be tolerated for the length of time it needs be rather than truly enjoyed. However, the fact that everyone except Michael feels exactly the same way — even generally-annoying-to-others characters like Dwight — helps smooth things over a bit. So while I wasn't a big fan of the scenes centered around this episode's title character, I did like the parts with other people trying to figure out what to do about him, especially Jim and Dwight's subplot and just about any moment with Holly. Erin cheerfully trying to get the ant farm away from Holly before the ants started eating each other was goddamn hilarious.

I also liked seeing Pam sharing story time with someone besides Jim in her B-plot with Andy, Darryl, and going full-on corrupt in her new position as office administrator as one intended good deed quickly ballooned into a web of bribery and deceit. It was like so many "fall to darkness" dramas in film or on HBO, except funny and played out over six or seven minutes. I hope very much that this plot comes up again in the season's final eight episodes, possibly even in relation to the upcoming maneuvering to hire a new boss.

Speaking of which, there's the oliphaunt in the room in regards to the fact that Steve Carell has just a few episodes left as a series regular, but we'll leave that be until The Office returns on March 24th. I have a feeling that I'll be writing a lot more about this show over the next few episodes than any of the others.

Funniest Moment: The entire scene where Jim, Pam, and several others confronted Holly about hiring Packer was perfect start to finish; Meredith starting off too strong, Ryan's botched critique of the government, and especially the exchange between Jim and Holly of "Well, I mean, he humped Michael," followed by "Well, if that's the case, I guess I've gotta be fired too," and everyone's disgusted reactions.

Parks and Recreation, Season 3 Episode 6 — "Indianapolis"

Two fantastic Parks and Recs in row! Although Ron (Effin') Swanson wound up stepping in and taking over comedically as he descended into hunger-induced madness, "Indianapolis" seemed more intended as a Chris Traeger spotlight similar to what "Media Blitz" did for Ben Wyatt, and was reasonably successful in that regard. I said last week that it seemed like they were trying to overinvest us in the extremely new Ann / Chris relationship, but the way this episode revealed that he broke up with her so cheerfully offscreen that she didn't even realize it was a breakup was a clever and funny twist that justified the whole story arc. It was Leslie herself who wound up feeling like a bit of an A-plot tagalong, but Chris, Ann, and Swanson were all expertly served by the Indianapolis trip. I'm curious to see how they intend to keep Chris on the show with him living out there, though. I guess they might have him come back to Pawnee for the Harvest Festival and wind up staying for some reason, but who knows.

Tom and Ben bonding over men's perfume and April and Andy competing for free stuff in Tom's club undeniably felt like B-plots, but they were fun, peppy, and entertaining B-plots, if for no other reasons than that I'd watch Adam Scott read the phone book and that it was nice to see an April and Andy subplot sans romantic drama for the first time in forever. Hopefully they can prove that established and happy TV couples don't have to be boring as we move forward. I'd hate to see them get broken up by misunderstandings and circumstance yet again.

Funniest Moment: I can't pin this down to any one specific moment, but as I mentioned above, every scene of Ron Swanson's steak-craving subplot, from initially discussing his love of Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse to discovering Chris grilling portobello mushrooms to demanding all the bacon and eggs they have at some roadside diner, was perfection and the highlight of the entire Thursday comedy block.

30 Rock, Season 5 Episode 16 — "TGS Hates Women"

This was a pretty damn good, unusually thematically ambitious 30 Rock, taking a legitimate swing at making a statement about the relationship between feminism and comedy. I'll admit that I'm not 100% sure what the episode's final conclusion on the matter was — Abby Flynn's baby talk and skimpy outfits and hypersexualized comedy definitely weren't positively portrayed in the least, but at same time Liz's meddling just wound up making things worse — but there were many moments of truth and sharp satire mixed into the story's specific beats, and Cristin Milioti did a great job as Abby. It was nice to see a show so big on flashy guest stars (and more on that in just one second) give a shot to an up-and-comer. I wouldn't be surprised if Milioti leverages this guest spot into a leading role on another sitcom by next fall.

I also liked Lutz pissing his pants, because deep down inside I'm quite juvenile.

Jack's subplot was an even better bait-and-switch than the revelation of Abby Flynn as Abby Grossman, though. I was kind of bummed that they had cast Chloë Moretz as a giggly, bright-eyed, aggressively cheerful schoolgirl, because that seemed like such a waste of her specific acting skillset, then was delighted (both by the reveal and the fact that I'd been successfully fooled) when she turned out to be conning Jack and was set up as a recurring villain. Hopefully the Kabletown showdown between Jack and Kaylie Hooper is intended as a running story as we enter the final arc of 30 Rock season five.

Funniest Moment: The last scene between Jack and Kaylie was full of great exchanges. "I hate the ocean — it's for tools," followed by "The ocean's awesome and for winners, you're for tools!", plus "And I can always seduce one of your teachers and get her to fail you." "I'd be into that!" "Me too!" Evil Chloë Moretz got way more laughs in two minutes than chipper and enthusiastic Chloë Moretz got the entire rest of the episode put together.

Community, Season 2 Episode 17 — "Intro to Political Science"

I didn't think Community tackled political satire with quite the same grace and comedic verve as it has action movies, zombies, conspiracy thrillers, mob movies, and the mockumentary just last week (especially stacked up against Parks and Recreation, which has government comedy locked down), but "Intro to Political Science" was still a pretty solid, funny little episode. Troy and Abed's impromptu political talk show felt just a little too broad while still being funny in line-to-line moments, but I loved Jeff's cynical, expert politicking before Annie threw him off his game with the audition tape. His "Are you saying Greendale is dirty?" line of attack was a spot-on parody of the popular and equally moronic real-life "Why do you hate America?" argument.

The scene where Jeff and Annie made up didn't do all that much for me, but that may be because I still have November's brilliant "Conspiracy Theories and Interior Design" in mind, one of my favorite episodes of the series and a Jeff / Annie explosion that all future episodes starring the pair will struggle to measure up to. Abed's quasi-romantic subplot with the Secret Service agent was cute, although I have pretty severe doubts it'll ever come up again even if we do get a third season.

Funniest Moment: I'm gonna wimp out and declare a three-way tie between Classic "Wingers" + Ab Mentions + Notches in the intro, "Do you just constantly have your own little side adventures?" "Yep." "...Me too!", and Pierce's vendetta against Vicki.

Weekly Power Rankings: 1. Parks and Recreation 2. Community 3. 30 Rock 4. The Office